


Sacrificium

by Darth_Cannizard



Category: Joyeux Noël | Merry Christmas (2005)
Genre: Execution, Horstebert, M/M, Prisoner of War, Rape, World War I, combat medic!Horstmayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:20:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Cannizard/pseuds/Darth_Cannizard
Summary: The orders from the French Headquarters are devastating in their clarity.Immediate execution.No mercy for the german officer.
Relationships: Lt Audebert/Lt Horstmayer (Joyeux Noël)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Sacrificium

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xsunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsunny/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Refugium](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21375196) by [Darth_Cannizard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Cannizard/pseuds/Darth_Cannizard). 



> I gave this story the working title “Refugium Reloaded Red Cross”. Of course it is clear why: the first paragraphs are almost identical to my story “Refugium” before the fable branches off in a different direction. Interesting detail: I posted Refugium 1 year ago in november 2019. And this story is a sort of a dark reflection of it.

Jonathan Dale hates the Germans, or the Huns, as they are also called, from the bottom of his sorrowful and bleeding heart. They took his beloved brother from him. The five-day peace and, from his point of view, almost perverse fraternization between the Scots, French and German troops, stirs up this hatred even more. The fire of hate and insanity that burns in him blazes so much that he wishes to kill every single german man, woman and child with his own bare hands. And so it is he who uses the opportunity a few weeks later and seriously injures the german Oberleutenant.

***

Over the next weeks following the Christmas Truce the Scottish and French troops gain reinforcements in the form of fanatical patriots. Audebert does not know how to deal with this situation. Fresh, pure faces, who have not really got to know the war in all its cruelty. They want to fight as fast as possible, shed german blood. He would like to explain to them what he has experienced so far, what killing means, what modern war really means, but he eventually gives it up. He finds no words to describe the horror and hopelessness that is in his heart.

Nor can he openly tell them that during these 5 days he has experienced a love of a strength and purity that he did not ever believed could exist.

They met regularly at night in no man's land.

The German Army Command is probably holding onto the opinion that a german soldier as such is a warrior worth several of his opponents and although the unit of Horstmayer has received only small reinforcement, a part of their troops is frequently sent to attack. With the foreseeable catastrophic consequences. Since their medic fell weeks ago and no new one was sent to them as a replacement, the Germans try each time to recover their wounded after the attacks. Jonathan is a good marksman. He follows the selected target with his riffle, fires and then all of them witness a short cry, a red mist and see how Oberleutenant Horstmayer sinks to the ground hit above his heart. The silence that follows is deafening. Audebert closes his eyes for a moment. The emptiness in his heart is ringing and pulsing like a fresh wound. As if he was the one who was hit. Without consciously making a decision, he starts moving. His men try to hold him back, but he pushes them away from him. He walks slowly over the no-man's-land. Sinks to his knees beside the one he is told to hate, and who has become a friend and lover in these past days of peace. Nobody dares to shoot him. They are all like in a trance. No german Jonathan on the opposite side.

Karl is conscious. His face is distorted with pain. He gasps desperately for air. The pain has to be horrible. The blood is flowing so fast, Audebert thinks. It's so red ... he finds himself trying to stop the bloodflow with his gloved hand. "Let it be," says Horstmayer in French, "let me die, it will not be long." His voice is indistinct. "Medic!" Audebert calls into the silence and to Karl: “You fool, I will not let you die.” And then again: “Medic!” Dr. Bouvier gathers his courage and leaves the trench. "The bleeding must be stopped quickly and the bullet must be removed," he waits for Audebert's decision. Together with Ponchel they carry Horstmayer to the french trench. "You don’t need a translator, Bouvier," says Camille some moments later as Horstmayer regains consciousness, "he speaks fluently French."

The displeasure that follows this compassionate action is immense. Only those who have witnessed the Christmas Truce, understand it, the new ones, rumble in silence. No one dares to openly oppose him and say something, but Camille knows that some of the soldiers long to do so. He can’t diminish it.

Horstmayer goes back to his trench 3 days later, his wound bandaged, his left arm in a noose as not to strain the wound. He goes slowly and thoughtfully back to his trench. And again nobody shoots at him. 

Gradually, the Germans are decimated. When the next order to attack arrives, Karl realizes that this is their certain death. He takes on the kind of moral responsibility he believes in from the bottom of his heart. He will surrender to the enemy, and in return the rest of his unit may retreat into the hinterland. It does not seem to be clear to every one of his soldiers that this act means his death, that he is buying their freedom with his blood. Or maybe they realize it, but they do not want to see such an amount of sacrifice and courage. And they don’t want to be responsible for this. "You are a traitor to the Kaiser and our Fatherland and a deserter," one says to him and a few others nod. Karl finds it difficult to breathe because of the wound and his voice is very soft when he replies "I am still your commanding officer and if I give you an order, then you have to obey me and leave the responsibility for me to decide. My order is clear and tomorrow you will retire after my surrender. I have nothing more to say about it. "

On this particular day the sky is radiantly clear, the cold is chilling. Horstmayer is slowly approaching the french trenches. His bandages are bloodsmeared, his beautiful face is deathly pale, but his eyes are radiant and very clear. Audebert picks him up.

He notices that ... "How long have you been wearing the armband?" he asks Horstmayer and frowns. "How long have you been a combat medic?" “For a long time,” Karl replies patiently. “In the last few days I officially had to take over the duties of a medic because ours fell. But that doesn't change the fact that I actively fought before, so the protection of medics statued in the Hague Convention doesn't apply to me. Otherwise it would be a war crime to hurt me in any way."

Since the Germans have withdrawn their troops, both the Scots and the French are leaving the trenches. They strengthen their defense, they chat, even play a little soccer together, the german trench is inspected and taken into possession.

The french medic is worried about Horstmayer's condition. He needs medication and rest and both things are rare in the middle of a war.

It is a few days later and orders from the French Headquarters arrive. They are devastating in their clarity. Everything goes dark before Camille’s eyes as he reads them and then his eyes fill with tears, the letters bluring.

Immediate execution.

No mercy for the german officer.

And to make it worse at first it’s said that the execution should be carried out or at least supervised by General Audebert himself. It doesn’t come to this, because the General is busy organizing a new campaign and prepairing plans for a battle. Of all the possible scenarios, this is the most terrible. Or at least that is what Camille believes until Gordon pulls him aside and says quietly: “We have orders to save ammunition.” “What?!” “We cannot give him the mercy of a quick death,” says the Scot, “the only other possibility is a knife or the bayonet.” Audebert's vision becomes dark again at the mere thought of it.

"Where the hell is the upholding of the goddamn Hague Convention ?!" he thinks and feels a cynical laughter rising.

"We can’t let this happen," Audebert says later at the gathering he called forth. "He is a noble and kind man, a exemplary officer and soldier, he was our friend on these days of blessed peace, we can’t just allow ...I will not watch my lov... " His voice breaks. "What can we do? And besides, he's a combat medic, that must be worth something, right? " 

There is a longer moment of silence.  
  
"There might be something," Mackenzie says after a while. "This case of Major Whitmore ..." He turns to the priest. Father Palmer nods.  
  
"What are you talking about?"

"A case that has become a precedent case because it refers to parts of the old english martial law."

"And this law is also practiced here in France," adds Palmer. "I read some documents about this before I went to war."  
  
"Are you going to tell me what you’re talking about?" Audebert gets impatient.  
  
"Something called ‘prisoner of war protective custody’. It is related to prisoners of war but also to civilian population on conquered territories.  
  
"So, we are talking about slavery here? About having another human being for property?"

"Basically yes," says Gordon. "But that would save him. If he were the property of an officer, then nobody could harm him. Neither the King of England himself nor your government. "  
  
"He will hate it. This is dishonor in its purest form ... mon Dieu. Is there no other solution? "  
  
"Only death," says Father Palmer.

"I can't do that to him," says Camille, "he'll hate me for it and despise himself until the end of our lives."

So everything is being prepared for the execution.

Jonathan volunteers and since he can handle the bayonet very well, he is appointed to be the executioner.

Father Palmer blesses Horstmayer and says a short prayer for his soul.

“Lay down on the ground,” says Jonathan, but Horstmayer can only obey this order very slowly. He is wounded and the shock that he is about to die is slowly setting in.

"Lay down, now," the young Scot repeats and gives him a powerful shove with the rifle. "That's quite enough, Private Dale," says Father Palmer and helps Karl lie down.

The ground is icy. Karl had taken off his coat before and he is starting to tremble even more than previously. He closes his eyes briefly and is ashamed to feel tears running down his cheeks. "Put your arms out to the side, away from your body," says Jonathan grimly. Horstmayer had previously taken his left arm out of the sling and placed his hands in the middle of his chest. “Put your hands away and stretch them out to the side,” says the young Scot as he attaches the bayonet.

And then Audebert makes a decision. He draws his pistol and places himself over the lying on the ground Horstmayer. "I hereby take possession of this prisoner of war as my property as it is statued in the ‘prisoner of war protective custody’ law and also on the basis of the fact that he is a combat medic and therefore may not be executed."

A few days later, a lawyer appears in the french trench accompanied by one Capitaine Dubois. The corresponding documents are signed in front of witnesses and Karl is taken to the french hinterland and there to the nearest hospital. Camille is relieved. He could at least do one good deed in this most horrible of all wars and save another human being. At least he saved one. The one who was most important to him.

But the fact that Karl is now his property doesn't change very much about the situation as such. Only that he must not be "damaged" on purpose, since he now has an owner. But he's a medic and a very good one at that, which the french commanders don't miss. The French suffer from a shortage of medical personnel. That's why Horstmayer, especially since he has front-line experience and speaks perfectly French, is deployed to a front-line hospital when his wounds heal enough that he can get out of bed.

And then he is assigned to a fighting unit.

It's not Audebert's.

***

 _So many dead and injured_ , thinks the English doctor and pauses briefly to get an overview of the battlefield littered with corpses and wounded. A skirmish with the Germans, in which the French and English fought bravely side by side, led to victory, _in this war there are no winners_ , but for a very high price. He hears french, english and a few german wounded groan in agony and call for water and their mothers. _How am I supposed to do it all and help everyone?_ Sullivan thinks desperately, _we only have 2 medics left besides me._ _Oh yes, but that's still that french medic._ Who is not a French, but a german officer, a prisoner of war, owned by a french lieutenant. _What degenerate times we live in that something like this is even possible,_ he grimaces.

Sullivan remembers the first time he met the young man and wondered about his strange uniform, which was, well, not a french uniform at all but _a feldgrau_ with a strange kind of sign under the Red Cross armbind ... He also noticed that this paramedic was treated badly and in a disparaging way by his own people - he believed at first that he was French. He remembers that he even stepped in to prevent an actual physical mistreatment and was told that it would be okay how it is, the german pig should suffer. _But he helps all of you_ , said the Englishman thereupon, _and in a selfless and self-sacrificing way that is second to none._ He then got to hear from the commanding french officer, who just slapped the young medic in the face, that he should not interfere in the affairs of the French Army and mind his own goddamn business.

*

A slight rustling can be heard from the barn, which is not far from the battlefield. And then something like a quickly suppressed sound full of pain. Sullivan slows down. He is afraid that it might be a german soldier who somehow escaped the bloodbath and so he draws his gun and sneaks up. He just wanted to see where they could accommodate their wounded before they were transported away.

Karl, the german medic is kneeling on the floor. He has taken off some of his clothes and pulled up his shirt. His right side is bloodied and he is apparently trying to take care of the wound. _Hit by a shrapnel_ , Sullivan immediately thinks and then he stumbles on something on the floor and the young man starts up in fear. His dark brown eyes are red-rimmed and full of deep pain. And also full of fear. Sullivan stops, without taking his eyes off the injured man, slowly, very slowly puts his pistol back into the holster and in one of the most universal gestures of mankind, he shows him his now empty hands. "I'm the doctor of the british unit," he says slowly and clearly. "I won't hurt you," he confirms his statement. The young German looks at him for a few heartbeats and then goes back to his task. "I was hit by a shrapnel," he says in absolutely perfect English with a slight accent. “I was able to hide it because I didn't have time to take care of myself after the fight and because,” he hesitates, “the wellbeing of the injured is above mine.” His fingers are bloody and he is apparently trying to get another piece of metal out of the wound. His beautiful face is contorted with pain and he repeatedly takes a shaking breath before continuing. "There's still something left," he mumbles. “No morphine?” asks Sullivan with a mixture of amazement and horror. "I have to have a clear head to finish this, and besides, the morphine is not meant for me, but for the french wounded." Sullivan is speechless. "Let me help you," he says after a while, because he notices that the young man is getting weaker and weaker. The Englishman fetches his doctor's bag. "Are you sure that there is still something left?" Karl nods. "A little morphine first," says the Englishman, but the young man shakes his head in despair. "I have to go back," he says with tears in his eyes, "who will take care of all the injured and dying if not me?" "You will die if you strain the wound in your condition and," Horstmayer interrupts him angrily "but that's my duty as a medic! That's what I'm here for, no matter what the cost! My personal well-being is of no meaning!” Sullivan goes to work without a word and then happens what was long overdue - the German faints and sinks sideways to the floor. _Poor child_ , thinks the Englishman and gives him the well-deserved shot of morphine before he goes back to the task at hand.

*

Horstmayer wakes up a few days later in the same french hospital he was taken to when he was last wounded. Except that the situation has now completely changed. Instead of contempt and hatred, a wave of compassion and admiration pours over him for his sacrifice to his enemies. Obviously the english doctor has told a lot about what happened on the front and the young german officer is now a hero and at the same time a victim of soldierly cruelty.

Audebert also experiences the changes when he visits the hospital a few days later. An angry mob of nurses gives him a lecture about the fact that even unfree people shouldn't be treated so badly. And is he not ashamed? He shouldn't satisfy his lower sexual instincts on the poor German who can't even defend himself.

Thanks to the white curtains they are not completely exposed to the gaze of others. They share a long but soft kiss before Camille sits down on the chair at Horstmayer's bed. "Are you treated well"? he asks taking his hand to softly kiss and hold it.

*

The wound is too severe and will take too long to heal to be allowed to work in the hospital. There is also no question if he should go back to the front or not. When he is well enough to get up on his own and take a few steps, the time has come that Camille’s application to the War Department is finally approved. General Bernard Audebert comes personally to pick him up and bring him to Paris. Horstmayer had imagined his visit to Rue Vauvin to be very different.

“What is the relationship between you and my son?” is the first thing the General asks him dryly when they arrive. Karl lowers his eyes. The general humms. “I don't have to approve of that, but I respect my son's choices. Is it mutual? ”Horstmayer nods and that’s the end of the only conversation on this topic.

The room that is now his, faces the street. This gives Karl the opportunity to stand or sit by the window to watch the goings-on outside. Otherwise he has not much to do on most days. The general insists, however, that his everyday life should be orderly, which is why they eat all three meals together in the dining room. He is allowed to use the library and sometimes they get company when the doctor comes over or one of the general's numerous friends wants to see the "enslaved Boche". Then it’s the time for him to be paraded like some strange and rare animal.

At some point he is also allowed to go out for a walk but of course only a supervised one. Before he is allowed to leave the house for the first time to go to the park with Capitaine Dubois, he has a conversation with the General. "It's not good for a man to be as beautiful as you are," he says, "it's even worse when a man is as fragile as you. Should anyone try to harm you I expect you to report this to me." In his innocence, Horstmayer thinks of blows and a physical attack. That someone might try to rape him does not occur to him. But that's exactly what happens one day.

*

The most wonderful thing is when Camille is on vacation from the front. The otherwise quiet house comes to life and even the General behaves less strict and cold. For the first time they have the opportunity to take time for each other and to sleep together for the first time. Thank goodness the house has thick walls because they are very enthusiastic about it and try out whatever comes to their minds, although Karl finds it difficult at first to be touched by Camille, although he loves and desires him. When his lover has to go back to the front, the farewell is utterly devastating. However, the behavior of the General towards Karl changes significantly. “Why?” asks Horstmayer when he yet again receives an expensive gift from the older man. "You make him happy," is the answer. “I have never seen my son so filled with bliss and it is thanks to you. And although that case never happened, I want you to forgive me for my almost overseeing your execution. I hope that in the meantime you at least see me as a friend and not as an enemy. "

*

One day the General notices that his young "guest" has gotten suddenly very reserved, very shy. He talked about not being really hungry and retired to his room immediately after the latest walk. Bernard had a plate brought up for him. He knocks on his door later in the evening and just walks in because he has a bad feeling.

The food on the plate standing on the table is untouched.

Horstmayer seems to be in the bathroom. Bernard knocks and enters when he doesn't hear an answer. “What for God's sake is going on?!” Horstmayer’s eyes are red from crying. There are several bloodstained bandages laying on the white tiled floor around him. It takes a few minutes for the older man to find out what happened. “I certainly provoked him,” sobs the young man, “Dubois is not to blame...he...he pushed me against the wall, tore my thighs apart. I fought when he pressed against me. But nothing happened, nothing that doesn't happen a thousand times in wars, it just hurts a little, but I'm not a woman, I can't get pre…, I can't stop the bleeding,” he whispers at the end. “Will I be punished and given to a new owner because I let this happen?”

The General has to help him lay down on the bed. “I will stain it,” whispers Horstmayer with panic in his eyes “let me stay in the bathroom.”

“Calm down, child, no one will punish you for what was done to you, try to calm down now. I'll have the doctor called right away," says Bernard grimly and mumbles to himself: "I'll kill Dubois for this."

Camille gets the news of what happened shortly after a battle that ended in victory for France. He does the only thing that comes to his mind: he asks for frontleave and gets it granted. The Karl he finds when he arrives, is not the same man he left at home a few weeks ago. It takes a long time until Horstmayer is able to regain trust, allow physical closeness and even longer until they share the bed again.

*

It is October 1916 when a letter arrives at Rue Vauvin, one that all fathers and lovers fear: _We are sad to inform you, that your son, Lieutenant Camille Rene Audebert, was badly wounded in combat._ _He is to be moved to the hospital in Paris due to the possibility that he may not survive._

The healing process takes a long time. After Camille is strong enough, he is released home into the care of both the doctor and of his prisoner-of-war german medic. He will probably never stop limping slightly and his war neurosis will never be completely cured, but even so, Horstmayer thanks God every day for getting his beloved back alive.

Whatever the future holds, they will face it together.


End file.
